Coming out of the Closet

Alright!  I’ve decided to come out of the closet and get this secret off of my chest.  I’m tired of living a double life, trying to act one way and clandestinely leading another.  It’s time for the world to know about it.  Ready?  I. Am. A. Shameless.  Flirt.  Yes, yes, yes!  It feels good to say it out loud and to write it down like this.  I am a flirt!  A flirt am I!

So, I know. It is scandalous, right?  I admit it: I flirt with anything that is living and breathing; men, women, boys, girls, dogs, cats and even birds.  Yeah.  That’s right.  Birds.  I lure them to my backyard by a super cool bird feeder that they can’t resist.  It sounds sick.  Perverted.  But I can’t deny it. I am a flirt and there is no cure for me. There’s not even a support group that can break me down and make me comply with convention. I’ve decided to fly in the face of boring relationships and go for it!  I’m out to win adoration. 

The definition of “flirting” is “a playful, romantic or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language.”  (Thank you, Wikipedia.)     Now, when I was much younger, I found myself to be very flirtatious.  A coquet in every way.  It was a part of my nature.  It came out of my very being and mixed itself with hormones and pheromones and honestly, it was a big part of my personality.  But I was young and flirting was a game that you played until you won.  The prize was a mate. I married, had children.  Flirting did its job.

Of course, with marriage I toned down (a lot) the sexual flirtations and saved them for my husband Bill.  But I found myself still slipping into flirtations with others, not for sexual reasons, but for deeper relationships…or just for relationships.  Period.  Relationships are hard to come by in this world and I realized that what I really was doing was flirting.  In the words of John Mayer, “So maybe I try too hard but it’s all because of this desire.  Just wanna be liked.  Just wanna be funny .”  Wise words for such a young man.  He’s a flirt, too.

I want to be liked by everyone.  I know that in my heart of hearts.  It’s a desire we all have and if you’re prone to flirting, you go out of your way to make it happen.  I noticed that those who were “asexual” flirts like me, were out-going, tended to have big personalities but nursed a bit of insecurity on the inside.  We needed people to like us to reassure us of our worth.

 Whoa… I know, I just got heavy.  But it’s true.  I talked with a guy friend one night.  He said he was an incurable flirt.  He always had been and he could recognize other flirts.  I said, “It must take one to know one.”  We laughed, but realized we were right.  I saw through to his insecurities right away.  Most people who know him think that he is a “people person”, drawing people like a magnet.  He is.  But he just wants to be liked too.  Ever heard of a people pleaser?

 Whoops….Just got heavy again!  But people pleasers like me have a hard time.  It’s not easy to flirt with everyone because everyone’s not going to flirt back and LIKE you.  We suffer rejection on a daily basis and wear ourselves out trying to make everyone happy.  Down the road, we even may burn ourselves out.  Watch out for bright stars.  They have that tendency.  I. Burned. Myself. Out.

 So, what’s the cure?  I think I have an answer, but It may take some explaining…We may need to spend a little bit of time together (wink, wink.)  So, I’ll sleep on it and share some of my secrets from the closet tomorrow.  Good night, sweetie pie.

 

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18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Elaine
    Nov 01, 2011 @ 00:15:14

    WOW I LOVE YOU DONNA BYRD

    Reply

  2. themuseinme
    Nov 01, 2011 @ 00:23:58

    I love you too, Elaine! Why do I love you so much? I’m not even flirting…Ha! I just love you. Thanksgiving’s coming and we won’t be together to do a Pilgrim’s Feast in Nashville. I can’t believe it. I’m not accepting that! Lord. Help. Me.

    Reply

  3. Allen Quain
    Nov 01, 2011 @ 18:30:18

    Donna, I didn’t know that you’re such a skilled wordsmith. Excellent writing!

    Reply

  4. themuseinme
    Nov 01, 2011 @ 19:09:45

    Thank you Allen. I’ve wanted to write for a long time and now that the kids are grown, I feel that I can actually collect enough thoughts to jot down into meaningul sentences. You’ve encouraged me. Give Betsy my love.

    Reply

  5. Carol Jones Shields
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 02:54:30

    Hi Donna~ just saw a message that Bill had written on my FB newsfeed about your blog so I decided to check it out. I, too, enjoyed your way with words. I play with them two. Words dance in my head. I keep lists of words that speak to me (or perhaps flirt with me). I love to read words that touch me and yours do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in such an expressive, flirtatious way. Look forward to your future writings. Love to you and Bill 🙂

    Reply

    • themuseinme
      Nov 03, 2011 @ 14:09:16

      Hi Carol! Thanks for reading my blog! Now that the kids are grown, it’s time to put down on paper (or in cyber-space) all of the thoughts and words I’ve had rolling around in my head for the last decade or so. Bill and I love words too! Thank God I love to read. That’s how I discover new word adventures. It’s funny how the muse inside of us brings certain words to our attention. This week it’s the word “bliss”. I love to say it out loud and to myself. Bliss. Bliss. What a great word to dwell on for the month of November. It conjures up all sorts of happy thoughts for me. So glad to have another friend that flirts with words! Good to hear from you, Carol.

      Reply

  6. judy bentley
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 13:28:06

    Donna Byrd, i just love how real you are! enjoyed your writtings..go girl. 🙂

    Reply

    • themuseinme
      Nov 03, 2011 @ 14:20:07

      Thank you Judy! It’s so good to hear from you. I love that you love what I wrote. Oh no…there goes my people pleasing ways again! Ha, ha. No really, your words encourage me to continue with my new found love for writing. I’ll try to “keep it real”. Give Henry my love.

      Reply

  7. Cora Varvell
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 13:44:11

    love your honesty and you are a very great communicator. It takes a lot of courage to bare your soul and thanks again.

    Reply

    • themuseinme
      Nov 03, 2011 @ 14:22:44

      Thank you, Cora. I thought I’d take your advice and write a bit. It’s been fun and I am surprised at what actually pops up on the computer screen when I sit down to write. I’m just letting the muse lead me! Love you guys!

      Reply

  8. Kathy Hinds
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 16:58:59

    Hi Donna, It takes one to know one. Wink! I’m sure this is why you have always been one of my favorite people and seeing you is always a gift! I too have been writing, hopefully to be a book entitled “I was only a hussy for a year!” but it continued for the rest of my life… I would love to send you a copy of what I have written, because I am sort of a a stand still and could use some interjection from another Flirt…Love You Kat.

    Reply

    • themuseinme
      Nov 03, 2011 @ 17:44:56

      Kathy, you are so funny. I would love to help you with your new book. Maybe we could call it, “It Takes One To Know One”. The word, “hussy” can have a dubious connotation! Ha, ha. However, in some circles, I may have been called one, anyway…Oh well, thanks for reading my blog. It encourages me to get responses. Especially, from flirts like you. It’s time we unite and call it what it is! Love you girl.

      Reply

  9. Julie Spence
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 19:02:46

    Donna! I’ve always said that you should write a book. This will definitely suffice. Love it. You’ve always had a beautiful way of expressing yourself.

    Reply

  10. themuseinme
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 01:14:36

    Thanks, Julie. You’ve always encouraged me and I appreciate it. Hopefully, I will stay connected with this. You are gifted with writing skills. Have you considered writing a blog? I know it takes “thinking time” and persevearance. But, sooner or later…there will be time. Think about it! Love you,

    Reply

  11. Weezie
    Nov 06, 2011 @ 07:38:30

    I love this!!! I think I’ll read it again 🙂

    Reply

  12. themuseinme
    Nov 07, 2011 @ 02:13:09

    Be careful, you know I’m flirting. (Wink, Wink) Love you girl!

    Reply

  13. Debra Hurst
    Nov 17, 2011 @ 18:12:01

    I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blogs. You absolutely make me smile and always have. Thanks for being such a sweetie and for being “real”. Love ya, Debra

    Reply

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